The Best of Facebook 2013, Part 1

This was so much fun for me last year, so I'm doing it again...

I use this blog mainly to help me remember all these precious stages of life that we are zipping through too quickly. I just don't have the memory space in my caffeine-deprived brain to hold on to all of this as it happens, and it is such a joy to read back through the blog and revisit times and experiences we've had together, things the girls have said/done as they've grown, and all the memories that would otherwise be lost. However, frequently one of the girls will say something, I will think, "Oh, I need to write that down!", and the fastest and easiest option is to just post it to Facebook. I realize how much less permanent that is than the blog, so I've decided to scan through the last year's worth of my Facebook status updates, and bring over here my favorites of the sweet or funny antics of the girls that I want to make sure I have recorded for good.

So here we go -- Part One!

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Bethany asked me to draw a cow, and when I finished, she said in great surprise, "Wow, that's actually pretty good! I didn't think it would be! Just keep practicing and you will get better at it, ok?"

Oh, well then. Thank you, benevolent one! I am in SUCH a hurry to draw more cows for you...not. ;)

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Ashley: "One thing that's against the law is killing people when they are being nice to you and helping you have what you need and taking care of you."

Wait. Like...me? Should I be worried?!

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Ashley: "Even if I had lots of mummies, you would be the only one I would love!"

Six year olds' compliments are the best.

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Bethany's opinion of grapefruit juice: "I don't like it because it tastes like ketchup!"

Well. I guess I wouldn't like to drink ketchup either...

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Before he left for work, Lamont told the girls that I had been up most of the night with Katelyn (again) and to be gentle with me lest I turn into a sobbing puddle of sleep deprivation in the corner of the kitchen. (Those may not have been his exact words.) Now they are taking turns coming out of their room and offering me money from their piggy banks. I asked what it's for, and Ashley said, "So you can buy enough coffee!"

Bribes, then. I'll take it!

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Ashley watched a clip of The Voice over my shoulder, and then told me confidently, "When I am 17, I will go on there and get a really good coach, because I know exactly what to sing."

"Oh really?" I asked. "What will you sing?"

"Well Mummy, I can't tell you today, because I'm not quite a rock star yet!"

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Hannah: "Since you can only use one hand today, Mummy, I will help you with the important things! So...how do I make cookies?"

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Bethany at 2 am, as I tucked her back into bed after a bad dream: "Mummy, if you ever have a scary dream in the night, you can come wake me up and I will pray for you too, ok?"

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Bethany, horrified: "Mummy! What are you doing with my pink frog?!"

Me, sheepish: "Why I am...um...taking him out of this bag of things for Goodwill, of course. Can you believe someone put him in there? Goodness!"

Now she thinks I'm a hero, rather than would-be abductor of pink frogs.

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When I come across a paper like this, is it paranoid of me to assume that it is a secret code that means something like, "We have almost made her crack. One more race through the house at top speed while belting out The Twelve Days of Christmas, and we will have her curled up in the fetal position on the kitchen floor. And then all the cookies will be ours, bwahahaha!!!" Anyone?

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I asked the girls to move away from our neighbor's side of the duplex while they are playing outside. "Remember," I told them, "she sleeps during the day sometimes."

"Oh yeah," Ashley answered. "But why? Is she hibernating or something?"

"No," cut in Hannah, importantly. "I think she might be a bat!"

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Hannah: "You are the prettiest Mummy I have ever had!"

Thanks, sweetie. Pretty sure I'm also the most unfortunate looking one you've ever had, so I won't let it go to my head!

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I walked past the girls' bedroom to see Bethany with an arm around each of her sisters. "I love you guys so much," she said tenderly, "that when you die I will come to your funerals."

They all leaned their heads together and my heart began a bittersweet melt, which came to an abrupt halt when Bethany added thoughtfully, "Unless I am swimming. Because that would be more fun."

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Ashley: "Mummy, your face is long and skinny, but I love you and you don't look like an alien."

Kids. Great for an ego boost on those days when you wonder if you're looking a little extraterrestrial!

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Ashley, praying before dinner: "Thank you that Mummy makes our food and does most of the laundry, even though she doesn't do all of it!"

Yes, I suppose there really is no point in lying to God about the laundry.

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Hannah: "Mum, what's an analogy?"

Me: "It's...a comparison of two things that have something in common..."

Hannah: "Oh, like you and cars."

Me: "Excuse me?"

Hannah: "You know, you need coffee and cars need gas. Is that an analogy?"

I don't think I should be proud of this!

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Hannah: "What's a preference?"

Ashley: "It's if you want something more than something else. Like -- my preference is to have a pig instead of a chicken!"

Hannah: "But I would never say that, because pigs are muddy."

Ashley: "That's not the point, I'm just trying to teach you something!"

Welcome to my world, sweetheart.

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Bethany: "Mummy, let's pretend that you're my mom, but let's pretend that you take care of me..."

My children are clearly going to need therapy.

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Part 2 to follow! I am loving laughing my way through these, I had already forgotten most of them. :)