Tiny dancer...

Nine months ago, this was my little Ashley:

She was at her very first dance lesson, excited, but also nervous as could be. There is tension in every line of her body in this picture, and her little nervous feet...so precious.

Yesterday was her dance recital, and my little girl danced around the stage, tapping and twirling and singing her heart out, beaming a sparkling smile the whole time! She has had so much fun in this first year of dance, and loved every second of her recital. We are so proud of her for giving herself to the experience whole heartedly.

Waiting backstage...and waiting...and waiting...I think there were 16 dances in the recital, and Ashley was only in one of them, so there was a lot of waiting. This is one of her babysitters, who was also in the recital, and came to the rescue with VeggieTales on her ipod. Rhegan, I love you!!

Also, in that picture Ashley's hair isn't curled yet, but I curled it, and it seriously took at least 45 minutes. It was a little bit ridiculous. Her hair is about three times as long and thick as the other girls in her class!

We were all SO proud of our beautiful Ashley! Ok, except for Hannah, who apparently wasn't proud at all. She was more like, "Ok, someone said we're going to have dinner next. Right? Are we going to have dinner next? Next, as in soon??"

This picture just speaks for itself... *LOVE*

Ashley, you danced beautifully, and we're proud of you! But we're even more proud that your beautiful heart shined through. You spent nine months listening to your teacher and following her directions, practicing diligently and with a smile, fighting your way through skipping backwards (even through the tears) until you mastered it so well that you can do it better than Mummy can, befriending your classmates, and sparkling like the princess of the King that you are. Yesterday your smile lit up the stage, and my heart overflowed to see how dozens of people -- your fellow dancers and your teachers -- gathered around to give you big hugs before we could leave. You are beautiful in every way.

We love you, tiny dancer.

On Ashley Turning Four!

Dearest Ashley,

Four years ago today you burst into this world and into my heart, six weeks earlier than we expected you, eager as you always are for new experiences. In that moment when the doctor told us that you were dying inside me and I realized that I might never have the chance to hold you like I desperately longed to do, it felt like my world was ending. Your daddy held my hand and we stared at your tiny form on the ultrasound machine, praying and crying and loving you. Letting you go was the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but as I asked God to hold you and do just what He had planned for your life from the beginning of time, I knew it was the very safest place you could ever be -- cradled in His arms.

And He gave you back to us, my darling girl, the most precious gift we could ever receive, hand delivered from our heavenly father. And as you have grown into the delightful four year old treasure that you are today, it has been clear each step of the way that you are His beautiful daughter, as well as ours.

Ashley, you absolutely sparkle! The vivacious way you just leap out and attack life leaves me amazed and thrilled -- even though sometimes it's hard for me to keep up with you. :-) You are always ready for the next adventure, the next challenge, the next bend in the road. You want to be learning something new every minute of every day, and you remind me of your daddy in that way. I love to see the way your sisters' faces light up when they see you, and how sweet and playful you are with them. And your love songs to God, sung at the top of your lungs with a beaming smile and usually a funny dance to go with them, are some of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard!

You are truly a miracle and an endless joy, and Daddy and I love you so very much. Happy birthday, sweetheart!

She's a dancing queen, young and sweet!

Today was Ashley's very first dance class, ahhhhh! I somehow managed to send her into the dance studio all by herself, and if I happened to be hovering outside peering through the window during her whole class, well -- that didn't hurt anyone, did it??

She did great, and had a huge smile stuck on her face the whole time. There are ten little girls in her class, and they already seem to be forming the strong, instant friendships that only three and four year old girls can manage. It was precious watching them holding hands in a big circle and skipping around together. :-) Her class is a tap/ballet combo class, but today seemed to be mostly getting to know each other and some basic stretching and jumping and dancing in circles. So cute!

Ashley wanted her picture taken at the house before we left...

And I stole this shot of her as she first surveyed the studio; she was a little overwhelmed for a moment, but then she jumped right in. Sometimes I feel like she is more poised than I am...

She flew straight into my arms after class with a heart stopping smile and declared, "That was so much fun, and now I'm ready to do it again!"

That Was Then...This Is Preschool!

I know that I'm overly sentimental, but I couldn't help posting this picture of my darling newborn Ashley almost four years ago...

Followed by the pictures I took today as she proudly sat down with me for her first day of "real" school.

A bona fide preschooler now, my firstborn daughter is racing through her early years with a zest and energy that makes me beam with pride at the same time I desperately want her to slow down now!!

On Magical Moments

It wasn't Mother's Day. It wasn't any "special" day, in fact. But a few nights ago I came home late from rehearsal and Lamont met me with a picture Ashley had made for me, at the top of which she had lovingly, painstakingly printed out "Mummy". As he told me how she had earnestly bent over the paper with the intense focus reserved for 3 year olds, and how before she went to bed she'd made him promise to make sure I would see it as soon as I came home, it felt like an awfully special day to me!

I know some of you have children who have been writing forever, but can you remember the first time they wrote your name - all by themselves - on a gift they made for you? I put Ashley's picture up in the kitchen where I see it probably 873 times per day. And each one of those 873 times, it creates a little magical moment in my heart!